Parents are often unsure how to support their teens when they confide they’re transgender or unsure about their gender identity. However, a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health in March 2021 found transgender adolescents considered the simplest actions the most supportive, such as using preferred name pronouns.
However, Eva Carlston Academy reports that there are many ways parents can and should support their transgender teens while celebrating their gender identity, from continuous education to open communication to prioritizing self-care to managing others’ reactions. But, as the research uncovered, it’s always the smaller actions that mean the most.
Using Preferred Name and Pronouns
The senior author of the aforementioned study, Tandy Aye, M.D., stated that teens always rated their parents more supportive than the adults rated themselves. And upon asking which group what actions they deemed to be showing support, the parents mentioned gender clinics and connecting their teens to resources. However, most of the adolescents selected their parents using their preferred name and pronouns as most validating and supportive.
Using preferred names and pronouns affirms that parents support their teenagers’ exploration. It acknowledges they’re figuring out their gender and shows immense respect and appreciation for their journey.
Understanding Gender Identity
Understanding gender identity in this context means not making assumptions about sexual orientation or their transitioning plans. Instead, it’s about encouraging them to explore their gender identity and express themselves, while ensuring they know support and love will always be there for them.
Doing this starts by knowing that gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation. The former is the internal sense of being female, male, nonbinary, genderfluid, or something else. The latter is the physical, emotional, and/or romantic attraction to another person.
Openly Communicating
Regardless of how busy families are, parents should aim to have a meaningful connection with their teen every single day, alongside performing frequent mental health check-ins.
Some teenagers may find talking to somebody outside the family easier. This is natural. In this situation, parents should facilitate this need by helping them connect with a local LGBTQ community leader, mental health practitioner, or school counselor.
Providing Professional Support
Both parents and teenagers should have a team of professionals around them to support next stages in the transition process when teens are ready. Naturally, this doesn’t have to start right away, but when the time is right, the team should include mental health, medical, and educational experts, alongside community groups.
Becoming an Activist
Parenting transgender teens means standing up for them in the wider community. Thus, parents should learn more about transgender rights and policies, supporting politicians that protect trans people from discrimination and advocate for their teens by calling out transphobia.
Acquiring Continuous Education
Teens’ perception of their parents’ support is a key factor in the adolescents’ mental health, as highlighted by Aye’s study. So, parents should seek constant education about the current issues facing transgender teenagers and will face as they age to ensure they’re able to provide overall support when it’s needed most.
Thanks to the internet, finding such information isn’t difficult. But those looking to go a step further can attend conferences, read books, and consult with professionals.